Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Nowadays, it is considered that
violence
on
the media and computer games expose an adverse impact on the community while some people thought these factors have no damaging effect on people. In my opinion, Change preposition
in
i
would argue that Change the capitalization
I
violence
do
have Change the verb form
does
some
significant impact on Correct determiner usage
a
the
society. One of the key Correct article usage
apply
reason
is that more and more children are access to the internet and watching television in recent years. To illustrate, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
the
youngsters, Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
especially
especilly
children are easily influenced by what they see on the screen and they will try to ape Correct your spelling
especially
those
Change the determiner
that violence activity
those violence activities
violence
activity. This
can lead to violence
at school and even family. With some
people who are Change preposition
Some
the
victim of Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
violence
Replace the word
violent
Correct your spelling
activities
acitivities
, they may feel scared and have depression. Correct your spelling
activities
For example
, there is a heart rending
case in Vietnam, which stem from a teenager who play Add a hyphen
heart-rending
Correct article usage
a violence
violence
game and Replace the word
violent
then
accidently
left his Correct your spelling
accidentally
neighborhood's
son Change the spelling
neighbourhood's
to
Change preposition
apply
dead
in the forest because he was trying to copy the character. Another reason is that we may think Replace the word
die
violence
is normal after a long time. If we watch television or playing
Replace the word
play
game
which Fix the agreement mistake
games
include
Change the verb form
includes
violence
Replace the word
violent
scene
at a high frequency, it may Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
affected
our Change the verb form
affect
mind
to think those aggressive actions are normal since we see them Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Correct your spelling
frequently on
frequently
frequentlyon
screen.Over time, we may become less sympathetic Correct your spelling
frequently on
with
Change preposition
to
the
others. In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
violence
is not a country's problem but every nations's
problem. Remove the s
nations'
Correct your spelling
Government
Gorvernment
should try to reduce the time of Correct your spelling
Government
violence
scenes and Replace the word
violent
violence
should go along with education to avoid its risk.Submitted by thaiannt on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite