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Band 2.5

The shows the population ratio of females per 100 males in six different areas in 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#population #ratio #females #males #six #areas #information #features #comparisons
The given table depicts the
rate
 of
women
population
 per 100 men in six different regions during the period of 10 years. A cursory glance at the tables is enough to make it clear that the most
women
population
 per men were located in Asia in both years. In 1995, Asia had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
population
rate
 of females per males and it
were decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
till
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2005 by 0.4. The
women
’s proportion in Oceania followed the same pattern as in North and Central America. African
women
's
population
rate
 per men increased during the period of 5 years. In 2005, Africa had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 growth
rate
 of
women
 per man and Oceania had the worst.
Submitted by melika7amouian9 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include these paragraphs in your essay to provide a clear structure and to summarize your main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the main features of the data to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the information.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary words and phrases to enhance your essay. Don't repeat the same words and try to use synonyms or alternative expressions where appropriate.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors throughout the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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