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the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

#percentage #women #men #asian #country #test
The bar chart represents data about successfully passing the driving test between 1980 and 2010 in one Asian country. Looking from an overall perspective, we can say that
women
 had higher passing results.
First
 of all, when we look at information about 1980 we noticed that females had a much higher percentage than men, around a half while males had only around 30%. In 1990 the situation almost had not changed for
women
 , while for another half of the investigation we can admit there was a slight increase in numbers nearly 37%. Both genders showed significant growth in 2000 , according to data around 70% and 50% respectively. We have not seen any major changing in the
next
 decade, men remain the same and
women
 had illustrated a slight decline in numbers of around 65%. To summarise we can say that despite the fact that
women
 had
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 passing rate , men
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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showed
Change the verb form
shown
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth between 1980 and 2010.
Submitted by mar.chopyk on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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