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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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Many
people
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 may think that big wages are much more important than when they really like their jobs. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and really think that all of us should choose workplaces with which we really can feel satisfaction. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will talk about the advantages and disadvantages of it. As a matter of fact,
people
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 should be satisfied with their job and not choose money.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
people
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 should choose the workplaces that they want because when
people
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 run after money, it does not really give happiness. They just should do what they really can do and be satisfied with it. As a matter of fact, they can be promoted in their employment.
Secondly
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, when employees choose a big salary, it can cause
problems
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 in their lives.
Such
Linking Words
problems
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, like mental
problems
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. When
people
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 do not do what they really want, they can take any type of stress. Routine can kill
people
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 morally.
For instance
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, office
planktones
Correct your spelling
plankton
planktons
planktonic
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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do not know why they are living and why they are working so much. In conclusion, I want to say that
people
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 really should think about their choices. It is because of their happiness that they may not give
from
Change preposition
up from
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 making an error choice and because of mental
problems
Use synonyms
 that they may take.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: