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Band 4.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
Many
people
 may think that big wages are much more important than when they really like their jobs. I do not agree with
this
 statement and really think that all of us should choose workplaces with which we really can feel satisfaction. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will talk about the advantages and disadvantages of it. As a matter of fact,
people
 should be satisfied with their job and not choose money.
First
 of all,
people
 should choose the workplaces that they want because when
people
 run after money, it does not really give happiness. They just should do what they really can do and be satisfied with it. As a matter of fact, they can be promoted in their employment.
Secondly
, when employees choose a big salary, it can cause
problems
 in their lives.
Such
problems
, like mental
problems
. When
people
 do not do what they really want, they can take any type of stress. Routine can kill
people
 morally.
For instance
, office
planktones
Correct your spelling
plankton
planktons
planktonic
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not know why they are living and why they are working so much. In conclusion, I want to say that
people
 really should think about their choices. It is because of their happiness that they may not give
from
Change preposition
up from
show examples
 making an error choice and because of mental
problems
 that they may take.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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