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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development
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In today’s contemporary world, as social media and modern technologies have become an integral part of our lives, it has changed the way of sending and
Correct your spelling
receiving
reciving
Correct your spelling
receiving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cash
Use synonyms
 from various factors
such
Linking Words
 as from friends, relatives and businesses. From my point of view,
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transferring
transforming
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
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 the aid of the internet and mobile phones is a positive development and
this
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 essay will explain why it is a positive trend. The
first
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 reason why it is a positive development is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it is considered one of the easiest and fastest ways of
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transferring
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
money
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 to other people
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within
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with in
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within
show examples
 a short period of time without waiting in
a crowded places
Correct the article-noun agreement
crowded places
a crowded place
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such
Linking Words
 as national banks.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 process
also
Linking Words
 gives an opportunity for humans to transfer their
cash
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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further
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 locations.
For example
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, majority of the parents send
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
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 to their children who are studying
in
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apply
show examples
abroad countries
by
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with
show examples
 the aid of the internet since it is possible to transfer
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 certain
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
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 from one account to another
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through
therough
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through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance. To be sure,
this
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 kind of
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money converting
Add a hyphen
money-converting
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 process can be dangerous since nowadays
a
Correct article usage
the
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 number of hackers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing day by day
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, therefore,
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therefore
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 there is
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 possibility of being under a cyber attack while
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transferring
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
 the
money
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, these days majority of the business owners have accomplished
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of
cyber attacks
Add a hyphen
cyber-attacks
show examples
 while
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transferring
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 certain
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
this
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 process might require
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
additional
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expenses
show examples
expences
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expenses
show examples
 while
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transferring
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
 a big
amount
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 of
money
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,
however
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, it is not considered much
costly
Correct quantifier usage
more costly
show examples
while
Correct word choice
when
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 sending a small
amount
Use synonyms
 of
cash
Use synonyms
. To conclude, having weighed
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everything
eveything
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everything
 mentioned
up
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apply
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, I
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can
csn
Correct your spelling
can
 come to the conclusion
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
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transferring
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 from one account to another is not a negative development in human history,
instead
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, it allows us to send our
cash
Use synonyms
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easier and faster way while giving a chance to
transfering
Correct your spelling
transfer
transferring
 the
money
Use synonyms
 to the
further
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 locations of the world.
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