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Band 5.5

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits
In recent decades, there has been considerable debate about whether or not individuals are greater
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 in egalitarian
societies
 or depend on personal achievement. In my opinion, I believe that equality is essential for opportunities in education, but it should not be pursued as a social ideal.
To begin
 with, according to someone, egalitarian
societies
. They think so because
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 is the foundation right for citizens in every country, which is based on
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
 of all positions whether poor or rich. The most well-known example of
this
 is the rights and freedoms to access the foundation’s educational rights for children. In terms of government, the laws should have a policy for parents and kids that the tuition is exempted for public school until the master’s degree.
Therefore
, education is the easier way
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 indigent children for enhancing their positions and increase opportunities for jobs alternative. Everybody, including all statuses, must access the standard quality courses not only from the school in a capital city but
also
 the school in a local town, which is the progress can achieve
all
Change preposition
in all
show examples
 areas.
On the other hand
, some people believe that people who have higher accomplishments are depending on individual identities. Nowadays, a number of business role models in the United State have terrible backgrounds and came from poor families but they have struggled until they succeed in their fields. For
this
 reason, many people trust that they can through the aims without egalitarian
societies
. In my point of view, equality
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
societies
 is a significant factor for access
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
winsome chance for everybody but personal’s ambition is important too. There must have various factors to support achievement.
Submitted by itemtofan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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