Children in some parts of the world have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Some people think it is a positive change, however others think of it as a negative change. What do you think?

The economic and political advancements in certain regions of the world grant
children
a
life
with fewer worries as they don’t have to shoulder the burdens that fiscal disadvantage once inflicted upon their previous generations. The reduced
responsibilities
,
however
, do not bode well for their long-term growth despite their imminent appeal.
Children
today, mostly in the
first
world, treat their studies as their focal point, and
this
has greatly simplified their lives, making
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
deceptively smooth. Their accommodation, food, laundry, sports, travel in-between schools, and even their social circle quality
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
well taken care of by their “helicopter parents” who forcefully bulldoze everything that stands in the way of
their
Change the word
the
show examples
next
generations, in the hope that
their
Change the word
the
show examples
offsprings would grab what they want with virtually zero
difficulty
Change to a plural noun
difficulties
show examples
. One would assume that
this
arrangement guarantees a pathway
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
care-free
life
, but what those helicopter parents fail to take into account is the fact that
life
is a not linear calculation. The extremely reductionistic
life
challenges and
responsibilities
would be more of a bane than a boon. No single child would work hard if s/he is brought up to know that s/he could have everything with a simple
voice mail
Correct your spelling
voicemail
show examples
. Being truly accomplished in
life
requires a robust problem-solving skill that those parents unintentionally deprive their
children
of. In the past, youngsters not only have academic grades on their plates. They have to trial and error in social relationships, sports, food, and even worry about tuition. The obstacles and
responsibilities
are what make humans complete as lives are complex, and it is only through combating those thorny problems that
children
sharpen their
life
skills, fortifying their will. It is no coincidence that Nelson Mandela was a homeless child before he became the President of South Africa; it is no surprise that Barack Obama was an abandoned kid before he was the President of the United States of America; it is preciously the thousands of days and nights Elon Musk spent in his room to study coding and constructing principles that make him the richest person in the world. And I doubt those would become who they are if their childhood accountabilities are lessened. In a nutshell,
responsibilities
in
life
do not diminish us, they empower us. Striping away obstacles
children
should be facing does them more of a disservice than a blessing.
Submitted by fd1330570 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: