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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts explain
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in France and in India during the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1984.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of these two countries decreased with increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
age
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
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the population
show examples
 of each
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
varied among these countries.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 is approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in India,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 it is not equal in France after the
age
Use synonyms
35
Change preposition
of 35
show examples
-40. In
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 the growth is like a pyramid,
that is
Linking Words
relation
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the relation
a relation
show examples
 between
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is inversely proportional. So that,
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 is reported in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 0-5 and it is marked as 7%. After that
number
Use synonyms
 of occupants
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 steadily with a marginal difference.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
greater than 70 is more than 65-70.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the relation between
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 is almost steady between the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 0-5 and 30-35.
Then
Linking Words
 the density of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of residents
declining
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 70.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age, group, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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