IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#age #structure #populations #france #india #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons
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The charts explain
percentage
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the percentage
show examples
 of
population
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the population
show examples
 of different
age
 groups in France and in India during the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1984.
Overall
,
population
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the population
show examples
 of these two countries decreased with increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
age
,
although
percentage
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the percentage
show examples
 of
population
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the population
show examples
 of each
age
group
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
varied among these countries.
However
,
population
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the population
show examples
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 is approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in India,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 it is not equal in France after the
age
35
Change preposition
of 35
show examples
-40. In
india
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India
show examples
 the growth is like a pyramid,
that is
relation
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the relation
a relation
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 between
age
group
 and
population
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the population
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 is inversely proportional. So that,
highest
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the highest
show examples
number
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 is reported in the
age
group
 of 0-5 and it is marked as 7%. After that
number
 of occupants
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 steadily with a marginal difference.
In contrast
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in
age
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the age
show examples
group
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
greater than 70 is more than 65-70.
On the other hand
, the relation between
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and
age
group
 is almost steady between the
age
group
 of 0-5 and 30-35.
Then
 the density of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of residents
declining
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the
age
group
 of 70.
Submitted by saeedrila on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age, group, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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