IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activities has had a negative effect on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

In recent times, the global environment
were
Wrong verb form
has been
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 adversely affected
due to
Linking Words
versatile
Correct word choice
various
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 factors including pollution and climate change .
Such
Linking Words
 devastating effects on the plants and animals around the world
had
Verb problem
were
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majorly
Rephrase
mainly
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 channelled through man-made elements like
industrialization
Change the spelling
industrialisation
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,
urbanization
Change the spelling
urbanisation
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 and deforestation. There is always a debate
that
Change preposition
about
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 whether it can be changed or not by suitable actions. In
this
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 essay, I shall discuss the different views on
this
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 debate
along with
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 the perspectives to overcome
such
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 challenges.
To begin
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 ,with the view that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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this
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 can be changed by taking an appropriate measure at
govt
Check wording
the government
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. levels or at personal levels. The key reason behind
such
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 perspectives is
scientific
Correct word choice
that scientific
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 studies are conducted in
this
Linking Words
 direction.
For example
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,
nature
Fix capitalization
Nature
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 reported that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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if CO2 emissions from industry and automobiles could
Verb problem
be drastically reduce
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reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 global warming impact
drastically
Verb problem
could be drastically
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.
Verb problem
reduced.
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This
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 can be done by incorporating new policies and personal pledges to
minimize
Change the spelling
minimise
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CO2
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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resources
Check wording
apply
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.
Also
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,
waste
Use synonyms
 management and plastic recycling can give an enormous contribution to saving the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 of on and
off-shore
Use the right word
offshore
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 animals. The recent announcements of
waste
Use synonyms
-to-gas projects and stringent plastic recycling policies guided the hopes that the actions can bring changes.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that we cannot change the bad effect by doing any post-action.
This
Linking Words
 opinion comes out because of limited evidence on the factual improvements against various actions.
For instance
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,
although
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 there are measures for reducing CO2 and
waste
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 decade, climate effects
were
Verb problem
have
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 not
reduced
Verb problem
been reduced
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 appears
an
Verb problem
to be an
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 increasing trend. In my opinion, Government policies,
waste
Use synonyms
 management activities, and fossil fuel
independency
Replace the word
independence
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 can help us to resolve environmental issues to some extent in the long
drive
Check wording
run
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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somebody
Use the right word
nobody
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 should
not
Rephrase
apply
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judge based on the immediate effect. In conclusion, it is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
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 that man-made activities
impacted
Verb problem
have impacted
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 negatively
Change preposition
on
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living and non-living organisms.
This
Linking Words
 can be overcome by the combined effect of government and individuals to reduce
waste
Use synonyms
 and increase our dependency on natural resources.

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grammar
Use shorter, clear sentences. Many ideas are in one long line; break into 2 or 3 tight sentences per idea.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Use a simple link word to show the flow, like first, also, but, and then.
lexis
Be precise with words. For example, say 'humans have a big role' instead of long phrases, and 'policies' not 'policies and personal pledges'.
task
Stick to the task. Give a clear opinion in the end and back it with at least one strong reason.
grammar
Check grammar: subject-verb agreement, tense, and plural forms. For example, 'the global environment has been' vs 'were adversely affected'.
content
Use real but simple examples. They should clearly connect to your main point.
content
The essay tries to cover both views and gives an opinion.
structure
There are clear paragraphs with an intro and a conclusion.
content
Some examples are used that relate to the topic, like CO2 and recycling.
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