Most high- level positions in companies are filled by man even though the workforce in many developed countries are more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percaentage of these positions of women. Do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that many top designations in organizations are dominated by males despite half of
this
Linking Words
portion in most rich countries
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
females. Companies should be compelled to give
specific
Change the article
a specific
the specific
show examples
number of these
positions
Use synonyms
to females.
This
Linking Words
essay totally agrees with that statement because most
women
Use synonyms
excell
Correct your spelling
excel
and outperform in their
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
which are standard criteria to get a high- level
positions
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, females get higher grades in most university courses. How well
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
men and
women
Use synonyms
do is the deciding factor for a graduate student to get a top job, so it is fair enough for girls to get these
positions
Use synonyms
. Before
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
are seen in the top roles
such
Linking Words
as law and medicine but now
women
Use synonyms
are outnumbering in these fields and should be rewarded with top
positions
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a large group of female students top on the bar exam in the Philippines recently. In conclusion, men should not be given the majority of top
positions
Use synonyms
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses because
women
Use synonyms
exceed in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
and can perform at the same level
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
.
Submitted by namlaemy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: