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Band 4.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods causes damage to the natural environment. What are the reasons and what can we do to solve this problem

#production #consumer #goods #damage #environment
Nowadays, the state of
nature
 has worsened due to the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
products
. People might have difficult opinions about the topic.
However
, I believe that the main reason is the mass cultivation of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 resources and the difficulty of re-using
products
. In
this
 regard, I will write
this
 essay concerning
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 and solutions to solve
this
problem
. The problems pertaining to
enormous
Add an article
the enormous
an enormous
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
goods
 have been entranced in modern society.
Firstly
, most
products
 are originated from
nature
.
For example
, petroleum is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 essential
resources
Fix the agreement mistake
resource
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 when producing plastic
products
.
This
 resource is used world-widely.
Therefore
,
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
 world would continue to be removed.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
used
goods
 are hard to recycle. According to the WTO, plastics, papers, and vinyl each take 18
years
, 80
years
,
100
Correct word choice
and 100
show examples
years
 to be biodegradable.
In other words
, the soil would be damaged by the enormous number of buried trashes during the above
years
.
Therefore
, increased
products
 can cause serious environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
However
, I believe there are several efficacious solutions.
Firstly
,
for
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apply
show examples
the government, it can invest
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
on
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in
show examples
recycling
Correct article usage
the recycling
show examples
 system due to
the
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apply
show examples
better recycling circulation.
Secondly
, companies can spend more money on making re-cyclable and eco-friendly
goods
.
In addition
, they could
also
 recycle by collecting their used
goods
 and
re-use
Wrong verb form
re-using
show examples
 them.
Lastly
Change the word
Last
show examples
 but not least, Consumers can support the movement by being conscious while shopping. Selecting eco-friendly
brand
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brands
show examples
 and
company’s
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company
show examples
products
 would encourage companies to keep attention
on
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to
show examples
 using sources.
Therefore
, those mentioned are the actions to be taken against the given
problem
. To recapitulate, I argue the main cause
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
wide
Correct article usage
the wide
show examples
 and continuous use of
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 sources and the hard recycling situation of the product.
Therefore
, these mentioned are the actions to be taken against the given
problem
.
Submitted by sadness1225 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural resources
  • deforestation
  • depletion of water sources
  • biodiversity loss
  • pollutants
  • manufacturing processes
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental regulations
  • environmental awareness
  • responsible consumption
  • eco-friendly products
  • recycle
  • renewable energy sources
  • industrial waste
  • emissions
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