IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods causes damage to the natural environment. What are the reasons and what can we do to solve this problem

#production #consumer #goods #damage #environment
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Nowadays, the state of
nature
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 has worsened due to the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
products
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. People might have difficult opinions about the topic.
However
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, I believe that the main reason is the mass cultivation of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 resources and the difficulty of re-using
products
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. In
this
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 regard, I will write
this
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 essay concerning
main
Correct article usage
the main
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reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 and solutions to solve
this
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problem
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. The problems pertaining to
enormous
Add an article
the enormous
an enormous
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of
goods
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 have been entranced in modern society.
Firstly
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, most
products
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 are originated from
nature
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.
For example
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, petroleum is
the
Correct article usage
an
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 essential
resources
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resource
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 when producing plastic
products
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.
This
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 resource is used world-widely.
Therefore
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,
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nature
Correct article usage
the nature
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 world would continue to be removed.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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used
goods
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 are hard to recycle. According to the WTO, plastics, papers, and vinyl each take 18
years
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, 80
years
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,
100
Correct word choice
and 100
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years
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 to be biodegradable.
In other words
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, the soil would be damaged by the enormous number of buried trashes during the above
years
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.
Therefore
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, increased
products
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 can cause serious environmental
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
However
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, I believe there are several efficacious solutions.
Firstly
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,
for
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apply
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the government, it can invest
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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money
on
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in
show examples
recycling
Correct article usage
the recycling
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 system due to
the
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apply
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better recycling circulation.
Secondly
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, companies can spend more money on making re-cyclable and eco-friendly
goods
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.
In addition
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, they could
also
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 recycle by collecting their used
goods
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 and
re-use
Wrong verb form
re-using
show examples
 them.
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Lastly
Change the word
Last
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 but not least, Consumers can support the movement by being conscious while shopping. Selecting eco-friendly
brand
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brands
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 and
company’s
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company
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products
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 would encourage companies to keep attention
on
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to
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 using sources.
Therefore
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, those mentioned are the actions to be taken against the given
problem
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. To recapitulate, I argue the main cause
are
Change the verb form
is
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wide
Correct article usage
the wide
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 and continuous use of
Use synonyms
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 sources and the hard recycling situation of the product.
Therefore
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, these mentioned are the actions to be taken against the given
problem
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sadness1225 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural resources
  • deforestation
  • depletion of water sources
  • biodiversity loss
  • pollutants
  • manufacturing processes
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental regulations
  • environmental awareness
  • responsible consumption
  • eco-friendly products
  • recycle
  • renewable energy sources
  • industrial waste
  • emissions
What to do next:
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