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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Directions: Read the question below. You will have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. There are many ways for an organization to find employees. Which do you think is the best way to find suitable employees? ▪ Advertising in professional journals ▪ Using personal recommendations ▪ Recruiting at job fairs Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.

#directions #minutes #plan #organization #employees #journals #recommendations #job #fairs #support
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In
business
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, having a good strategy, good employees, and enough
money
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 are all important for success.
However
Linking Words
, I think
money
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 is the most important element. Without
money
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, a
business
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 will never succeed.
Firstly
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, if you start a
business
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 with a lack of
money
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, you will struggle from the start. I know
this
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 is true
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it happened to me. I was young and had just graduated from college. I had a great idea for a new pizza
shop
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. But from the beginning, things went wrong.
For instance
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, I couldn't rent a big enough place because I didn't have enough
money
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. My tiny
shop
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 could only seat six people!
Also
Linking Words
, I wanted to hire a professional sign-making company to create a big red sign that said "Tommy's Pizza" to hang over the
shop
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's front window but again, I didn't have enough
money
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 and
instead
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 I had to make my own small sign that I hung on the door. It looked terrible. I had many problems like
this
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 and I was forced to close the pizza
shop
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 after only five months, mainly due to a lack of
money
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. The
second
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 reason you need
money
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 in
business
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 is to get a loan when you want to grow your
business
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.
This
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 happened to my uncle Mike twenty years ago when he wanted to expand his furniture
business
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. He owned two shops that were very successful. One day, a rival company offered to sell their
business
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 to him. Uncle Mike was interested so he went to a local bank and asked for a large loan. They gave him the
money
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 immediately and he bought the rival firm. Today, his chain of furniture shops, "The Golden Chair", is the largest in the state and he is very rich. Without
money
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,
however
Linking Words
, he would have never succeeded. Of course, having a good strategy and talented employees will help any
business
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 succeed, but those can come later. You might succeed without them, but you will never succeed without
money
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. At the beginning and for expansion, it is very important to have enough
money
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 to grow your
business
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Try Harder Every Day on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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