Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is a government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individuals #amount

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In the modern world , there is a new habit which is called fast food culture. Time is limited,

therefore

Linking Words

our diet is becoming unhealthy with harmful sugar ingredients. Because of that , some

nation state

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nation-state

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that governments should make resolutions about reduce to carbohydrate consumption , while others believe the opposite. In

this

Linking Words

essay , I will discuss both viewpoints and explain my idea. Start with , why are people eating too much

carbohydrate

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carbohydrates

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. With or without our knowledge every product which is packed in a store has a fair amount of energy.

This

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energy comes from the harmful proportion of sugar. According to World Health Organisation (

WHO)

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,WHO)

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obesity has been significantly increased

last

Linking Words

decade because our

product

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products

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including preserver and even vegetable or plant-based food is genetically changed. In that case , the person who wants to eat 5 in 1 can not control

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apply

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the production phase.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a bureaucracy should take

controls

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control

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with their hands.

On the other hand

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, individually , we are

Correct article usage

apply

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independent people who

lives

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live

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in the twenty-

first

Linking Words

century. Nobody should poke their nose into our lives even

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they think about our wellness.

Additionally

Linking Words

, every member of society may learn what is the secret of

the

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long life and why

Unnecessary verb

apply

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sugar is dangerous for our bodies. Apart from the governments , society may establish

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apply

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the

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unit which is helpful to a healthy life and support themselves. To sum up , in my opinion , within the states or not ,

population

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the population

a population

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can take to control and reduce harmful substances with their good lifestyles.

Submitted by b.sfkozel on Thu Dec 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is a government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that don’t have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?

Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their study and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones