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Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is a government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individuals #amount
In the modern world , there is a new habit which is called fast food culture. Time is limited,
therefore
 our diet is becoming unhealthy with harmful sugar ingredients. Because of that , some
nation state
Add a hyphen
nation-state
show examples
 that governments should make resolutions about reduce to carbohydrate consumption , while others believe the opposite. In
this
 essay , I will discuss both viewpoints and explain my idea. Start with , why are people eating too much
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
. With or without our knowledge every product which is packed in a store has a fair amount of energy.
This
 energy comes from the harmful proportion of sugar. According to World Health Organisation (
WHO)
Add a comma
,WHO)
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 obesity has been significantly increased
last
 decade because our
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
including preserver and even vegetable or plant-based food is genetically changed. In that case , the person who wants to eat 5 in 1 can not control
to
Change preposition
apply
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the production phase.
Therefore
 , a bureaucracy should take
controls
Fix the agreement mistake
control
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 with their hands.
On the other hand
 , individually , we are
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent people who
lives
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live
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 in the twenty-
first
 century. Nobody should poke their nose into our lives even
Correct word choice
if
show examples
they think about our wellness.
Additionally
, every member of society may learn what is the secret of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 long life and why
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sugar is dangerous for our bodies. Apart from the governments , society may establish
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 unit which is helpful to a healthy life and support themselves. To sum up , in my opinion , within the states or not ,
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 can take to control and reduce harmful substances with their good lifestyles.
Submitted by b.sfkozel on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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