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Band 5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

#people #universities #graduates #skills #workplace #function #university #access #sake #course #employer
Few individuals think that universities should include the
knowledge
 of the
job
 in the courses.
On the other hand
, there are individuals who think the actual function of the
university
 is to give the
knowledge
 of its own courses without considering the workplace after it. In
this
 ,essay the main things that a student has to learn in
university
 will be discussed. Nowadays students are considering their own interests for choosing a
course
.
However
, the student may change their
course
 in
university
 after years later. But for someone like them to change
course
 would be more difficult and if, universities go deeper into the
course
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching a
job
 for them would
do
Verb problem
be
show examples
 less interesting for them.
Furthermore
, there are students who are going to
university
 for only the
knowledge
 of the
course
.
For instance
,
people
 who study mathematics or physics are
people
 who want to practise their brain or example art students, who are not thinking about their work as there are
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 salaries in the
course
. And
lastly
, as
people
 are futuristic and looking for the future the decision that a student makes for the
course
 not always is the workplace or
job
 they may look for new courses which can be made by others, as
people
 studying mother
course
 to get into the more specialistic
course
. In summary, I believe that not all
people
 looking for the same
job
 in the same
course
.
However
, the
university
 has to look for the
knowledge
 of the
course
instead
 of looking for an occupation.
Submitted by amir.lajevardi84 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure, with points being presented in a confusing manner. The introduction and conclusion need to be more explicitly stated.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the prompt. There is a lack of clarity and depth in the ideas presented. The examples provided are not relevant or well-elaborated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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