IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many places women are taking jobs which are traditionally done by men. What do you think make these change happen. What's your opinion about it.

#places #women #jobs #men #change
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In recent times, gender equality became a trend in many places.
Women
Use synonyms
 are
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 improving
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
 there are capable as
men
Use synonyms
 in many fields. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the beneficial and adverse
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of
this
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 trend and
thus
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 lead to a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 obtainable
the
Change preposition
for the
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 substantiated reasons. The top-notch reason is
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of working
women
Use synonyms
 in every household due to family
finanicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 issues.
As a result
Linking Words
, many
men
Use synonyms
 are losing their
job
Use synonyms
. To probe more deeply,
women
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 are more intelligent and smart than
men
Use synonyms
,
therefore
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 many
men
Use synonyms
's
job
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 is in critical position
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in IT
Sectors
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sector
show examples
.
Hence
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 it's apparent why many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
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 trend. What is known as half empty for
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 may appear as full half for some
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 So people
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to distinguish that some of the jobs are required more stamina and physical strength.
For instance
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, In the firefighter stream,
men
Use synonyms
 are the right candidates for
this
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 position due to their guts and physical strength to carry
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
show examples
ton
Fix the agreement mistake
tons
show examples
 of
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. Another observation related
in
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to
show examples
this
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regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 is that
women
Use synonyms
 are not capable
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 extending more hours to work or
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
suits
Wrong verb form
suited
show examples
 for night shift
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 because
women
Use synonyms
 are the
pilllars
Correct your spelling
pillars
 of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. they have hold
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
 in
homes
Correct pronoun usage
their homes
show examples
.Needless to say, all these points stand in good stead. In recapitulation, I reiterate that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 strong
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 supporting that many
occusion
Correct your spelling
occasion
occasions
,
women
Use synonyms
 are proving that there are capable as
men
Use synonyms
,
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
are enrich
Change the verb form
are enriched
are enriching
show examples
 in knowledge
in
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particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 field
then
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 capable to hold the position.
Therefore
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, check the
job
Use synonyms
 requirement to which candidates fulfil
job
Use synonyms
 demands
instead
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 of gender.
Consequently
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, I firmly agree with the given statement.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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