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Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. ​ What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

#topic #pollution #rivers #lakes #seas #concern #people #environment #water #effects #life #society
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There are tons of rivers, lakes and seas in which
water
Use synonyms
 is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 a variety of fish as well as
for
Change preposition
to
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 humans. The
water
Use synonyms
 is
hazard
Replace the word
hazardous
show examples
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
 level of pollution there.
That is
Linking Words
 why
people
Use synonyms
 who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to help nature become cleaner and better are so
consern
Correct your spelling
concern
concerned
 about the bad situation which is going
Change preposition
on nowadys
show examples
nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
.
This
Linking Words
 essay is presenting what may be the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation and what consequences it can bring for animals and
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
spieces
Correct your spelling
species
.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
people
Use synonyms
 do not recycle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rubbish. It is so important to throw bins into the correct boxes. Thanks to that more
matirials
Correct your spelling
materials
 can be used twice,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
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 plastic or glass, which leads to less
poluted
Correct your spelling
polluted
waters
Fix the agreement mistake
water
show examples
. What is more, in
remote
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a remote
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part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world where access to fresh sweet
water
Use synonyms
 is almost impossible,
people
Use synonyms
 there are treating lakes and rivers as a bath. They are washing
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
there and dishes as well. During that
activities
Add a comma
,activities
show examples
 it is
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to use soap or some other chemical products.
Unfourtunately
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animal and plant life in
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
water
Add the comma(s)
,water
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 is becoming a
poisson
Change the capitalization
Poisson
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. From my point of view, because of
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
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 quality of
water
Use synonyms
 in a
variety
Replace the word
various
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parts
Change preposition
of parts
show examples
 of
globe
Correct article usage
the globe
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 more and more animals and
people
Use synonyms
, what is maybe even more crucial, have problems with
possesing
Correct your spelling
possessing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 drinkable.
Also
Linking Words
, if the world will not stop wasting
water
Use synonyms
,
farmes
Correct your spelling
farmers
farms
frames
 are not going to have
essential
Add an article
an essential
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 to care about plants like corn or rice, which can cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide hunger. To sum up, polluted rivers, lakes and seas
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a serious problem that
people
Use synonyms
 should handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as fast as it is possible.
Other
Change preposition
In other
show examples
 ways, the feature might not look good as it
Add a missing verb
is suppouse
show examples
suppouse
Correct your spelling
suppose
supposed
 to.
Submitted by kuba.kuczynski13 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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