Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

In the modern
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
people
do not have as much free time as they used to, which is why they have become very selective as to how they spend their time. I would argue that many individuals have drifted away from the arts because they are not
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
vital for one’s survival. To change
this
point of view, I would suggest beginning with children’s education. Regarding the reasons why there is generally shown less interest in creating and admiring different
art
forms, it is very likely that individuals choose to focus on areas that are considered more necessary for their financial stability. A very good example is the fact that modern trends in interior design
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
minimalism over complex and detailed designs, lowering the chances of artists to work on
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
pieces that would ensure them a high income.
On the other hand
, humanity is constantly advancing in technological and scientific fields, and
therefore
people
will easily lean towards subjects related to that. In order to shift
this
mindset, it is very important for individuals to start appreciating the benefits of
art
during their education, while they are still developing.
For instance
, it could be very beneficial to teach students how to express themselves and communicate their thoughts via different
art
forms,
such
as music, acting, and painting. Using
art
in
such
a way would help young
people
to understand its value. Overall, I believe that the rise of hard sciences has
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
society to
believing
Change the form of the verb
believe
show examples
that arts are unimportant. Adding more creative activities to the educational system would be a good step towards changing these
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
, leading
people
to reconsider
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what is worth their attention.
Submitted by vanavamv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • STEM subjects
  • Job security
  • Financial success
  • Pragmatic
  • Utilitarian pursuits
  • Art education
  • Inclusive
  • Engaging
  • Contemporary society
  • Social issues
  • Environmental themes
  • Digital platforms
  • Virtual museums
  • Interactive art
What to do next:
Look at other essays: