Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #interest

For tender age

people

it is essential to volunteer in their spare time,as some

people

believe.

Personally

Add a comma

,Personally

show examples

l fully agree with the statement as it helps them to combat

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

mental problems and enhance their potential. Working in an unpaid job has 2 apex benefits.

First

and foremost,teenagers can boost their communication skills since they may have

enhance

Change the verb form

enhanced

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to talk with various types of

people

Consequently

, they will know how to treat

according

Correct quantifier usage

others according

show examples

people

charachter

Correct your spelling

character

In addition

this

,these teenagers are highly likely not to fall into depression,because, they will have a number of thoughts on their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

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concerning

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

good deeds.

For instance

,the volunteers who take care of older adults do ponder about elevating the old

people

's life,so they may not think about the thoughts which cause them detrimental

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

Additionally

, some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

people

can have an opportunity to enhance their perfection,since they may desire to be teachers and by teaching they may gain experience.To illustrate ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

from an

English speaking

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English-speaking

show examples

country

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countries

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who plan to be an English

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

can acquire experience by working abroad as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

English

tutors

Correct the article-noun agreement

tutor

show examples

Moreover

,it can lead to

healthy

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a healthy

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lifestyle,as some of them can do physical activities

such

as walking to deliver goods. In conclusion,I opine that volunteering in their leisure time is advantageous not to their overall development but

also

to their health and social life.

Submitted by shuh035 on Wed Jan 04 2023

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Your opinion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest

Your opinion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

In some countries, children start school at the age of four, while in other countries they start at seven. What is the ideal age for a child to begin formal education

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with poeple via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or nagative development?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?