IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs personal information, such as their hobbies and inerests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #inerests
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It is believed that sometimes managers ask individuals personal questions in the interview,
such
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 as their characters, habits and married
life
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. Certain people argue that
this
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 information can be beneficial for the company while others disagree with
this
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 statement. The impending essay will discuss both views and will elaborate my perspective with a logical conclusion. There are multiple reasons why asking questions about personal
life
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 has a positive impact on industries when they hire people.
To begin
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 with,
this
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 data may contribute to supervisors getting full information about new
workers
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 which in turn leads to them making a proper work schedule because they can put the right person in the right positions.
For example
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, if a person like mental positions, he or she may work as an accountant in the office.
On the other hand
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, others argue that employers should not ask about the private
life
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 of people because it is not a relevant question
instead
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 they can know about the education knowledge of new
workers
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 contributing to them selecting persons with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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high educational
qualifications
Correct the article-noun agreement
qualification
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 which in turn leads to a significant increase in the profit of the company by hard-working of that expert in
better
Add an article
a better
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 position.
For instance
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, the Times has announced that almost 48% of industries in Toronto, Canada accept
workers
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 by their diploma not by their hobbies or keening in something. From my perspective, asking for personal data may increase the safety of that workplace because employers should know about each worker's location leading them to have a safe environment for all
workers
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. To conclude, it is true that some supervisors want to know about the personal
life
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 of new
workers
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in
Change preposition
on
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applying
Replace the word
application
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 day. In my perspective,
this
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 would help them to have a better work environment for everyone.
Submitted by sohail917 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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