IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the interest of maintaining local culture, governments should support projects such as local film industries in order to offer alternatives to mass produced culture, such as Hollywood. How important is it to preserve traditional cultures in the face of globalization and in what ways can it be achieved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#interest #culture #governments #support #projects #film #industries #offer #alternatives #mass #hollywood #cultures #face #globalization
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Preserving local
tradition
 and spirit is very important for communities, especially for younger generations. Keeping
tradition
Add an article
the tradition
show examples
 of the place where they grown is mandatory for building
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 personal identity. I agree that filming movies in small local industries could contribute to
this
 cause,
in contrast
 to large productions (like Hollywood), which value only profit.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, when we have very emphasized globalization, younger people very often ignore or forget their roots. All kind
information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
 and content is very easily
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 thanks to
internet
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the internet
show examples
 and social media, so they can meet different trends from all around the world. Being exposed to
such
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the such
a such
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 amount of available information can make one totally uninterested in things that she sees daily, so she doesn't have
motivation
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the motivation
show examples
 to try to understand those things and
this
 is probably the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 dying of local traditions. Under the influence of strong marketing strategies of large world film production companies, people tend to prefer Hollywood films over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films filmed in local film industries. While Hollywood movies usually do not reflect any cultural or moral values,
cinematography
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the cinematography
show examples
 in local communities could make
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 difference in
this
 matter. With more financial support, they could make films or documentaries to explain different traditions and local culture that would bring those themes close to
younger
Add an article
a younger
the younger
show examples
 population
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the most important factor in preserving these. Through my childhood and younger age, I found our local traditions very boring
beocause
Correct your spelling
because
be cause
 I haven't understood their meaning.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 we have
tradition
Add an article
a tradition
show examples
 of
lightining
Correct your spelling
lightning
 huge
pile
Fix the agreement mistake
piles
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 of wood in the middle of summer that required all village residents to gather and stay there while
fire
Correct article usage
the fire
show examples
 is gone. As I child, I despite that
tradition
 and could not wait until it is pass. Eventually, I saw
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
interested
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 documentary film explaining that
tradition
 that began 3000-4000 years ago in our region. Local tribes
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
 that
warm
Replace the word
warmth
show examples
 from fire
protects
Wrong verb form
protected
show examples
 them from evil spirits, so they would gather around it and
triing
Correct your spelling
trying
 to get as much of its energy as
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
Add a verb
isit
wasit
show examples
 possible. After acknowledgement of that interesting story, that event became one of my
favourite
Fix the agreement mistake
favourites
show examples
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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