IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #women #leaders #men
Women
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 always been
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 greater and biggest strength
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
man
.
Some
Change preposition
In some
show examples
 people females are better
decision makers
Add a hyphen
decision-makers
show examples
 than males. In my opinion, I believe they not only
outperforms
Correct subject-verb agreement
outperform
show examples
 at leading but
also
 in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
many areas.
This
 essay will focus on how women
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 always been
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
great at decisiveness. Scientific studies reveal that
woman
 is more intelligent than
man
. Nowadays, women not only take care of the house but
also
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offices. In
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
 world,
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 giant company's founder is
woman
Add an article
a woman
show examples
 as well. If we check the history of the
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
, managing and running
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 company
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 people will be extremely impressed by their performance over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
For instance
, MamaEarth founder
Ms.
Change the punctuation
Ms
show examples
 Ghazal has taken her company to the global level, and she
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 care of her family on her own. She had spoken in an interview that she
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
took
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 a plethora of stupendous decisions to reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
 point. Today's
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 can function equally as compared to
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
. Even they are great at cost-cutting whatever the situation may be. They always know how to resolve the issue
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 less amount of money. Even if we leave the household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to the
man
, they won't be able to handle the home as mothers do.
For example
, my mother is magnificent in her skills, she always amazes me while shopping the groceries, vegetables and other essentials
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a little
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of prices by bargaining. In conclusion,
Add an article
the woman
a woman
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 would definitely perform great in leadership than
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
. I
also
 believe females will shine wherever they go or work
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by tntemuulen54 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: