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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take an interest in the arts?

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #interest #arts
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Art
 has been important in the world over the years.
Nevertheless
, there are few
people
 in the public who are interested in
art
 in recent times. The arguments are that
people
 can easily make
money
 in
business
, science and technology areas and
also
 the robotic time which has
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on
people
 force them to be computerized. These arguments will illustrate the point of view which will show some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
lessen
Wrong verb form
lessened
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 of
people
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
 in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the time that we live
now
Change preposition
in now
show examples
 is
mechanical
Correct article usage
a mechanical
show examples
 period. So, everything we use
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 is automatic and
people
 can easily pick up technological matters.
For instance
, a man is able to pay
its
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 payments on the Internet not going to the bank. Another example is that everybody uses mobiles,
computers
Correct word choice
and computers
show examples
 in their everyday life. So,
people
 tend to be automatic and avoid creative activities. In conclusion, most of them concentrate on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science and technology not on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
.
On the other hand
, the economic sides are the most considered in the society after
transition
Add an article
the transition
show examples
 to capitalism. So, the ratio of
people
 making
money
 in
business
 is more than the ratio of
people
 making
money
 in arts.
For example
, a businessperson takes
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
show examples
his
Change preposition
from his
show examples
business
 every month by making huge
money
 but the artist swallows in difficulty until he sells his paintings.
Therefore
,
people
 analyze
such
 real situations and decide to focus on
business
.
As a result
, many get away from the
art
 by purpose making a lot of
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
business
 sectors. In conclusion, many
people
 depreciate to work in
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 sector and have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
 to make
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 effort in science, technology and
business
 in
todays
Correct your spelling
today
. Above analyzed the arguments are which they can make more profit in these sectors and become not creative. In order to increase
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in the arts governments should promote and subside the arts in the world.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • STEM subjects
  • Job security
  • Financial success
  • Pragmatic
  • Utilitarian pursuits
  • Art education
  • Inclusive
  • Engaging
  • Contemporary society
  • Social issues
  • Environmental themes
  • Digital platforms
  • Virtual museums
  • Interactive art
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