IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
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Seeking knowledge and getting higher
sceintific
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scientific
 degrees are one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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people's
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 biggest dreams, and
this
Linking Words
 is where
poeple
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people
 invest their money looking for high salaries
guarantee
Fix the infinitive
to guarantee
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 a good future for them. One of the
series
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serious
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 problems that people face in
this
Linking Words
 place
,
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apply
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 is being
over qualified
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overqualified
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 with so many degrees plus hard and soft skills,
this
Linking Words
 should be a good
supportive
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support
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 for the
candidates
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candidate's
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 resume, but the recruiters sometimes have another point of view, they have these thoughts about candidates asking for higher salaries above the actual budget allocated for these jobs. Another reason which may
seems
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seem
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 silly
,
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apply
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 is the managers' fears of these guys' success that will swallow them and drag them behind, managers may
also
Linking Words
 ask the recruiters to choose those with moderate skills to avoid a possible turnover in the future
,
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apply
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 because these
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
 people will always look for the best deal and offers in business. In my opinion, those guys who are highly qualified graduates should be
looking
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looked
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 for all the time by
the
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apply
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employers, the high salaries they will
asked
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ask
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 for,
well
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will
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 mean nothing
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to the benefits and revenues they
well
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will
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 get to
there
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their
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 companies,
a
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apply
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good negotiations at the beginning can solve the salary issue, by promising them a good
commition
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commission
 for each winning the company
acheived
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achieved
. In conclusion, the recruiting process should become more
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
 and follow some new roles
Fix the infinitive
to aim
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aim
Wrong verb form
aimed
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 to lead the company
for
Change preposition
to
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 more success, and
that's
Unnecessary verb
that
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mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 giving
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
 to more candidates to impress their managers and make the difference that they are looking for.
Submitted by dinaruqti on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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