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Band 5.5

In many places new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe that it is more important to protect the country side and not build home there. What is your opinion?

#places #homes #space #country #side #people #home
In
this
 contemporary era, demands for accommodations are increasing in many places, especially in cities. While, numerous folks concur that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of land spaces are available in the
countryside
, to fulfil the house requirements can construct homes in those places. Other
people
 reject
this
 notion due to a plethora of reasons. In my personal view, the latter statement appears to be more rational. There is adequate evidence
that is
 obtainable for substantiated reasons. The top-notch concrete reason is many
people
 are migrating from
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
rural areas to search for job opportunities, and increased house demands.
Moreover
, in the
countryside
, the land
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 filled with green plants and animals,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 produces fruits and vegetables.
Therefore
, the destruction of those lands for homes disrupted natural resources and animal habitats.
In addition
 to that, many
people
 are taking a break from work, moving to the
countryside
 to get relax on weekends because those places are known for being noiseless. Another observation in
this
 regard is that for many
people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 live in the
countryside
, it's difficult
for
Change preposition
apply
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to move to cities for jobs, shopping and many more. Along with more
people
 might chance to get into loneliness without interaction with neighbour
people
.
Furthermore
, safety
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
 the biggest concern among
people
.
For instance
, according to time articles, 45% of crimes are happening in the
countryside
.
Hence
, it's apparent why
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 important to protect the
countryside
 lands. In recapitulation, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supporting the consequence of building a home in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
rural
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
.
Therefore
, to fulfil the house accommodations, the local authorities can construct multiple apartment floors based on ground-level strength.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Scenic beauty
  • Cultural heritage
  • Housing shortages
  • Infrastructure
  • Sustainable development
  • Brownfield sites
  • Greenfield sites
  • Eco-friendly
  • Urban planning
  • Urbanization
  • Pollution
  • Vertical expansion
  • Renovation
What to do next:
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