These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour

Nowadays, youngsters' attitudes are impacted due to inclining the violence on

television

. In my point of view, I firmly concur with the former proposition of

this

argument.

Thus

this

essay will elaborate on reasons in the ensuing paragraphs, which

further

leads to a logical conclusion.

Firstly

, all news channels propagate negative news throughout the day especially riots between religions.

Hence

youth will take the wrong path due to continuous broadcasting on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

For example

last

year in the Delhi riots many youths were participating.

In addition

, It will show the major effect on their studies and

also

on their brotherhood.

Secondly

, in today's

world

Add a comma

,world

show examples

many violent series were telecasting on

television

like money heists,

Correct word choice

and scared

show examples

scared

Replace the word

scary

show examples

games, and these are very much popular among younglings. To elaborate, these stories will showcase how

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

people can earn money by doing wrong things like murder, robbery and kidnapping.

For Instance

, in 2022 a group of children inspired by the money heist series

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

went for a bank robbery.

Furthermore

, adolescents are creating shortcuts for getting success in their careers. To sum up, violence

broadcasting

Wrong verb form

broadcasted

show examples

television

are

incling

Correct your spelling

including

due to

this

it affects young

adult's

Fix the agreement mistake

adults'

show examples

attitude. Government should issue strict rules to the media to broadcast negativity and parents

also

take responsibility to give advice to their children.

Submitted by moulali.unique on Mon Jan 23 2023

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

215 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

In many countries, the level of crimes is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. What are the main cause? How can we deal with?

Some people believe that men and woman are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for woman. What’s your opinion?

Some people believe that the government spend too much money on wildlife protection projects and the money should be used for other things. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others. However, argue that circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account. Discuss both side and give your opinion.