These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour

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Nowadays, youngsters' attitudes are impacted due to inclining the violence on

television

Use synonyms

. In my point of view, I firmly concur with the former proposition of

this

Linking Words

argument.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on reasons in the ensuing paragraphs, which

further

Linking Words

leads to a logical conclusion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, all news channels propagate negative news throughout the day especially riots between religions.

Hence

Linking Words

youth will take the wrong path due to continuous broadcasting on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

last

Linking Words

year in the Delhi riots many youths were participating.

In addition

Linking Words

, It will show the major effect on their studies and

also

Linking Words

on their brotherhood.

Secondly

Linking Words

, in today's

world

Add a comma

,world

show examples

many violent series were telecasting on

television

Use synonyms

like money heists,

Correct word choice

and scared

show examples

scared

Replace the word

scary

show examples

games, and these are very much popular among younglings. To elaborate, these stories will showcase how

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

people can earn money by doing wrong things like murder, robbery and kidnapping.

For Instance

Linking Words

, in 2022 a group of children inspired by the money heist series

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

went for a bank robbery.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, adolescents are creating shortcuts for getting success in their careers. To sum up, violence

broadcasting

Wrong verb form

broadcasted

show examples

television

Use synonyms

are

incling

Correct your spelling

including

due to

this

Linking Words

it affects young

adult's

Fix the agreement mistake

adults'

show examples

attitude. Government should issue strict rules to the media to broadcast negativity and parents

also

Linking Words

take responsibility to give advice to their children.

Submitted by moulali.unique on Mon Jan 23 2023

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

215 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitize
mimicking
aggressive
idolize
fear or anxiety
social interactions
mental health
proactive
supervision
content

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?