IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude male or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience in 250 words.

#women #men #strengths #weaknesses #right #females #professions #gender
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Nowadays, when roles in society between males and females get closer to each other every year, we are already accustomed to progressive actions in employment as rights for everyone to choose the dream job no matter
of
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apply
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any minimal demands. On the
first
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hand
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,hand
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 it may be seen as a positive aspect of democracy
on the other hand
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 as a risk
for
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to
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 the own applicant's health. Today, I would like to demonstrate each view of the topic from a different perspective to find the best solution. From the beginning, there must be said that the biggest difference between men and
women
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 is biological barriers.
Naturally
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,Naturally
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 men have well-developed critical thinking skills and muscles as a part of our past, hunting.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
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,hand
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women
Use synonyms
 have well-developed emotions and treatment,
such
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 as taking care of children,
knowing
Correct word choice
and knowing
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 what they need. From the other perspective, we live in a modern society. There should not be any differences between genders as
the
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apply
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security has enormously increased.
Still
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,Still
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women
Use synonyms
 are aimed at more specific jobs as better
secured
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secure
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 for their own comfort. Feminists are taking these actions very seriously as signs of sexism or as a direct
offense
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offence
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, continuing to argue the percentage of employment of
women
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 to men to
pay-gap
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pay gap
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 between these two genders. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 certain differences between
ganders
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genders
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is
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are
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 a serious
barrier
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barriers
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 that cannot be overcome easily as it seems in daily debates across social media. I strongly believe that wages should not depend on the gender of the employee but as a certain sign of work done on its own.
Unfortunately
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,Unfortunately
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 there may be rare cases where unfairness has been overcome and in
this
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case
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,case
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 the employee better start thinking strategically to avoid
this
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 case, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worst turn to justice. I hope that a certain recommendation depending on the gender of the applicant is not a sign of any sexism or incompetence, but
as
Correct your spelling
is
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 a positive aspect from the employer with experience for the own effectiveness of the applicant’s future career.
Submitted by z.pfister on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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