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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reportung the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reportung the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summarise #information #reportung #features #comparisons
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The results of a survey
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
 that the percentage of city residents who went to a café for a
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks take the highest rate in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 Australian cities,
excpet
Correct your spelling
except
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adelaide city,
where by
Correct your spelling
whereby
show examples
slight
Add an article
the slight
show examples
 difference the rate of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks is the highest.
Overall
Linking Words
, it shows that
people
Use synonyms
 prefer going to a café the most and
then
Linking Words
 buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and the least buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. It implies that
people
Use synonyms
 drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 to sit in a café for a break and if they want the
coffee
Use synonyms
 to go, they take
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
, which is faster than fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
, cheaper. It is notable that in Sydney, the gap between taking fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 is small, which means
people
Use synonyms
 in Sydney are buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 over
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
, even though they have to spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by suhenkoh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, people, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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