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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart reveals the five different
items
Use synonyms
 of one country's exports in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015 and 2016.
In addition
Linking Words
, the given table compared the proportion of these
items
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, as can be seen from the chart,
although
Linking Words
 three
items
Use synonyms
 (
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
, engineered
goods
Use synonyms
, textiles) saw a slight increase during the next year, in 2016 compared to two others,
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 were the
powerful
Correct quantifier usage
most powerful
show examples
items
Use synonyms
 of exports.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the value of all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
five factors had been rose in 2016
instead
Linking Words
 of
gems
Use synonyms
 and
jewellery
Use synonyms
. In 2015, just
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 were earned above 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 amount
growth
Replace the word
grew
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partialy
Correct your spelling
partially
 in 2016.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, engineered
goods
Use synonyms
,
gems
Use synonyms
 and
jewellery
Use synonyms
, and textiles saw a minimal rise between 2015 and 2016 as well,
while
Linking Words
 just engineered
goods
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
earned above 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 just like
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
gems
Use synonyms
 and
jewellery
Use synonyms
were bring
Change the verb form
were brought
show examples
 about 44
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 in 2015
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but fell down minimally in 2016.
Additionally
Linking Words
, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 remained stable.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, all categories
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in value from 2015 to 2016, except for
gems
Use synonyms
 and
jewellery
Use synonyms
. Textiles with a significant increase
with
Change preposition
of
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 15.24% were in the first stage, and engineered
goods
Use synonyms
 and
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 were in
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
 level with 8.5% and 3% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words items, petroleum, products, goods, gems, jewellery with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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