The tow pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tow pie charts below show some employment patterns in Great Britain in 1992.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts provide information on the proportion of males and females in
employment
in 6 broad categories, divided into manual and non-manual
occupations
, and the reverse is true for
men
. In the non-manual
occupations
,
while
a greater
percentage
of working
women
than
men
are found in clerical-type positions, there is a smaller
percentage
of
women
than
men
employed in managerial and professional positions. The
percentage
of
women
employed in other non-manual
occupations
is slightly larger than the
percentage
of
men
in these
occupations
. In manual
employment
, the biggest difference between the two sexes is in the
employment
of craft workers, where males make up 24% of the workforce and females just 3%. ,
,
Change the punctuation
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show examples
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
the
percentage
of
women
working as general labourers is very small, only 1%. There is not a great deal of difference between the
percentage
of
men
doing other forms of manual work (26%) and
women
in other manual work (27%). In summary, the two charts clearly show that
women
do not have the same access as
men
to certain types of
employment
.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, occupations, men, percentage, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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