Write a letter to a hotel manager in another city for an upcoming 2-day business trip for you and your colleagues. Introduce yourself and colleagues (financial service, product focus on insurance and mutual fund, proficient in engligh and madarin) Give information about the business meeting ( market outlook, new insurance product introduction, case study) Tell other requests you might have ( wifi, projector , microphone, basic refreshment-tea, briskit , coffee machine)

#hotel #manager #city #-day #business #trip #colleagues #service #product #focus #insurance #fund #engligh #madarin #information #market #outlook #introduction #case #study #requests #wifi #projector #microphone #refreshment-tea #briskit #coffee #machine

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Dear Sir and Madam, I am writing to inform you that our sales department team, and I will stay at your hotel

this

Saturday and Sunday to attend an employee training workshop. I am behalf of my team to introduce ourselves. We will have five employees and two supervisors to join

this

seminar, and our company is a financial service incorporation in Richmond. All of us are professional financial advisors and are mainly in the insurance and mutual fund sectors.

Additionally

, we are proficient in speaking English and Mandarin, so our target market is Asian customers.

This

commercial conference is to educate our team about the next quarter's market outlook, and

also

recommend some relevant mutual funds or insurances to assist our clients in reducing the risk of their investment portfolio. In the meanwhile, our supervisors will share a number of case studies with us and suggest us some practical techniques to maximise the biggest profit and eliminate potential risks. I cordially request some items that our meeting will be needed.

Firstly

, we will need WiFi to access our corporation's cloud storage, and one set of microphones is

also

required to deliver a speech to all members.

Furthermore

, the training will be lasting for 6 hours, so it would be better to have some refreshments

such

as tea, coffee and a small number of biscuits in the conference room for all participants. I look forward to visiting your hotel on the designed days. Yours faithfully, Claire Chen

Submitted by claire9377 on Sat Feb 04 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

247 words

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