A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video game too much. How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?

A research
Remove the article
Research
show examples
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
show examples
that many students from 7
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
11 years old do many
on
Add a hyphen
on-screen
show examples
screen
activity
such
as
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
television and
plat
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
video
games.
This
essay will try to investigate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
daily
activity
as a student and
also
the solution to prevent it from a
parent
Change noun form
parent's
show examples
point of view. There are many
disadvantage
Change to a plural noun
disadvantages
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
screen
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
for
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. One of the biggest
disadvantage
Change to a plural noun
disadvantages
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
doing too much
screen
activity
is lack of sleep
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they will give up their rest
time
to watch television or play
video
games. It will affect their schedule not only at home but
also
at
school
. If they cannot rest well, their body will feel tired,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
it will impact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
health
. It
also
may impact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
school
assignment, they may not turn
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
on
time
, because they are so immerging in playing
video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
.
On the other hand
, playing
video
games
also
have some advantages,
such
as
lea rn
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
about
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
and as a media for stress relief for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
. As a
parent
, of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
we want our kids to do well at
school
, but
also
have a healthy lifestyle. To prevent the bad effect
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
too much
screen
time
,
firstly
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should make a schedule for
screen
time
.
For example
, kids can play
video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
or watch television after they make
school
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
Add an article
a parent
the parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
can ask
the
Change the word
their
show examples
kid to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise together
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the weekend so they will have physical
activity
to maintain their
health
. In conclusion, extreme
screen
time
will influence
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’
show examples
health
and their
school
life,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
it
also
can be used as
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stress relief.
Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
show examples
Parent
Add an article
A parent
The parent
show examples
cannot
banned
Change the verb form
ban
show examples
screen
time
, but have to make
schedule
Correct article usage
a schedule
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
it so kids still can do their hobbies
while
not
damage
Wrong verb form
damaging
show examples
their
health
and
school
life.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: