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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of tree types of tutrients, which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of tree types of tutrients, which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
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The Pie Charts illustrate the amount of taking three different types of harmful items which are
sal
Correct your spelling
salt
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, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meals
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 various
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 of the day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figure shows that breakfast contains less
sodium
Use synonyms
, fat and artificial
sugar
Use synonyms
 than The Other types of meals.
However
Linking Words
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 is rich in
sodium
Use synonyms
 and fat,
whereas
Linking Words
 edit
sugar
Use synonyms
 is mostly found in snack items. Beforehand, the first meal of the day is comparatively much
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthier
others
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
which contains 14% of
sodium
Use synonyms
, 16% of fat and 16% of edit
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 as same as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast, snacks contain 14 % of
sodium
Use synonyms
, it is high in fat which is 21% and auger which is 42%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 is high in both
sodium
Use synonyms
 and fat which are 43% and 37% of total intake respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
launch
Add an article
the launch
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 is the second highest source of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
 which is 29% and
also
Linking Words
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fat which is 26%.
in addition
Linking Words
, lunch and
dinner
Use synonyms
 are two types of
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 after breakfast which add
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
.
Finally
Linking Words
, it can be stated that in tee-time added suger is taken
largely
Correct quantifier usage
more largely
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 than other parts of the day.
Also
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 lunch and
dinner
Use synonyms
, salty and fatty food are top of the list.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, sodium, dinner with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • balanced diet
  • overconsumption
  • health risks
  • cultural dietary patterns
  • processed foods
  • portion control
  • government regulations
  • nutrition education
  • informed choices
  • saturated fats
  • trans fats
  • carbohydrates
  • sodium intake
  • public health
  • nutrition labels
  • dietary guidelines
  • caloric content
  • food groups
  • obesity
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • diabetes
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