More and more people move away from family and friends for working. Do the advanatages outweigh disadvantages

Nowadays, one of the people to choose to move away from family and friends for working.

This

essay will discuss that it has many benefits more than drawbacks. On the one hand, People will have more opportunities for careers when they move away from family

instead

work in traditional work.

Furthermore

, their salary will get high as well.

Also

, of

course

Add a comma

,course

show examples

when they have more money they can help their family's lives better.

On the other hand

, in fact, many people will face living alone.

In addition

, the expensive life experience will take them

stress

Wrong verb form

stressed

show examples

or become

Replace the word

too

show examples

depressed.

Consequently

, they will spend more money on their health problems

such

as irregular eating, and no exercise. In conclusion, more away from family and friends have more competition to get a chance for work. In my opinion, that gives more advantages than disadvantages

Submitted by lyngochung on Fri Feb 10 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

142 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people move away from family and friends for working. Do the advanatages outweigh disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's character and culture from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the benefits of tourism outweigh the problems it creates in a particular place. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decresing. Do you think this is a positive/negative development?

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?