More and more people move away from family and friends for working. Do the advanatages outweigh disadvantages

Nowadays, one of the people to choose to move away from family and friends for working.

This

essay will discuss that it has many benefits more than drawbacks. On the one hand, People will have more opportunities for careers when they move away from family

instead

work in traditional work.

Furthermore

, their salary will get high as well.

Also

, of

course

Add a comma

,course

show examples

when they have more money they can help their family's lives better.

On the other hand

, in fact, many people will face living alone.

In addition

, the expensive life experience will take them

stress

Wrong verb form

stressed

show examples

or become

Replace the word

too

show examples

depressed.

Consequently

, they will spend more money on their health problems

such

as irregular eating, and no exercise. In conclusion, more away from family and friends have more competition to get a chance for work. In my opinion, that gives more advantages than disadvantages

Submitted by lyngochung on Fri Feb 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

142 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Global warming is emerging as a great threat to human survival in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and suggest some solutions?
Global warming is increasingly recognized as a significant threat to human existence in the 21st century, with sea levels rising at a concerning pace. This phenomenon brings about several serious problems that demand urgent solutions.
5.5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, in many nations the population of adult generation is more than old generation. While this phenomenon might have some cons, I personally believe that its pros are more because the young people have an important role in country’s development.
7.5
band
With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how it can be managed?
Due to advancements in healthcare infrastructure the global population is experiencing a notable growth in the number of elderly individuals. The potential problems behind this trend are increased pressure on healthcare systems and a lack of job opportunities, while solutions involve funding sufficient money in services for old people and creating more employment institutions.
7.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There are two attitudes toward some notable careers, like medics and engineers. While they have been trained in their own country, the first group would argue that, for that reason, they should serve in their own country. Another attitude is that they should work wherever they want without limitation. In my view, they should have the chance to choose their destination for work, which is closer to the latter notion. This freedom of choice in career decisions is not just a fundamental right, but also a catalyst for significant personal and professional growth in the fields of medicine and engineering.
7
band
Some people believe that the only purpose of film is to entertain. Others say that films should always have some educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some communities argue that cinemas are made to amuse audiences. However, a few have a notion that films should have educational purposes. This essay agrees that a film should contain certain values to the viewers.

More and more people move away from family and friends for working. Do the advanatages outweigh disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Global warming is emerging as a great threat to human survival in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and suggest some solutions?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how it can be managed?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that the only purpose of film is to entertain. Others say that films should always have some educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.