IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the percentage of
people
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 born in
Australia
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 and outside of
Australia
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 during the period 1995, and 2005 living in
cities
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, town and Rural
areas
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. As per the graph when we compare the percentage of
people
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 living in
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
, towns and Rural
areas
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 born in
Australia
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 and outside
Australia
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 during the period of 1995, we could see the percentage
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 born outside
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australia
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Australia
show examples
 living in
cities
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 and rural
areas
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 relatively higher;
whereas
Linking Words
 the
People
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 born in
Austrlia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 living in Town is higher when compared with the statistics of
people
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 outside of
Australia
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 living in
rurla
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rural
areas
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. The same during the period 2010 we could
obsever
Correct your spelling
observe
observer
 that the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 born in
Australia
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 living in
Cities
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly increased but the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
 born
outid
Correct your spelling
outside
 of
Austrlaia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 living in
Cities
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 remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, and we could notice there is a drop compared to the year 1995 in
people
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 living in town and rural
areas
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 despite the fact that being born in
Australia
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 and
outiside
Correct your spelling
outside
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rdenuga on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, cities, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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