IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows food consumption in Australia between 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows food consumption in Australia between 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#food #consumption #australia #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The given line graph illustrates food
consumption
 in kilograms per
person
 for each
year
 of 5 different meals
such
 as seafood, bread,
meat
, fruit and vegetables from 1950 to 2010 in Australia.
Overall
, all kinds of eating habits
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased over time except
the
Correct article usage
apply
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meat
consumption
 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased by more than 20
kg
 per
person
 per
year
.It was clear that the lowest consumed food was seafood and the highest consumed food was vegetables from 1950 to 2010. In 1950 random
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australians
show examples
 consume nearly 140 kilograms of vegetables after that between 1960 and 2000
this
 amount fluctuated.
Finally
 reached 160
kg
 consumed per
year
for
Change preposition
by
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 one citizen in 2010. Fruit
also
 began with 80
kg
consumption
 per
year
 for each
person
 in 1950 and after a slight dropped between 1960-1970, peaked
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 140kg per
person
 per
year
 in 2010.
According to
 the
graph
Add a comma
,graph
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 bread peaked at 70kg
consumption
 amount in 1970. Nearly 30 years of the period between 1950 to 1980, seafood showed a steady period. After that increased by turtle speed.
Meat
also
 peaked in 1990 but suddenly started to fall. In 2010, an Australian citizen only consumed 80 kilograms of
meat
 per
year
.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, person, year, meat, kg with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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