The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to english, in 200 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to english, in 200 and 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Given are two pie charts revealing how many British students can speak languages except than English in 2000 and 2010. Spanish is the most popular language among British pupils in 2000 with 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
. After decade later, the number of Spanish-speaking students increased from 30 to 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
. German-speaking students were 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
in 2000 and
this
Linking Words
figure was not changed in 2010. Speaking French, accounting for 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
in 2000 slightly dropped to 10 in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of speakers of other languages climbed by 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
from 2000 to 2010 and become 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
it was 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
. In 2000 two other languages were 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
10 years later
this
Linking Words
figure rose to 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Among these ,rates most significant change was decreasing the number of those who did not speak another language.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
rate was 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
in 2000, it declined twice in 2010. It is
also
Linking Words
interesting to note that Spanish was the most popular language in both years.
Submitted by ecelif2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: