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Band 4.5

People have different views on how to reduce traffic congestion. Some think that governments should build more train and subway lines, while others think that building more and wider roads will reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #traffic #congestion #think #governments #train #subway #lines #roads
there are several perspectives to solve
traffic
 ,especially in huge cities. some
people
 have
this
 viewpoint that the government must develop public transportation
such
 as the train and subway lines.
in contrast
, other groups think if the state
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the figure of bigger roads will be able to decline traffics. on the one hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that the union must rise the statistic of train and subway lines. from
this
 point of view,
although
 the price of
this
 model of transportation needs to be a significant budget, most
people
 will be willing to use
this
 transportation so the amount of
traffic
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
.
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 the
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
 of
this
 type of transfer
often
Add a missing verb
is often
show examples
 on time so the
satisification
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 of
passengar
Correct your spelling
passenger
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
rapidlly
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 and the consumption of private vehicle
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 a long period.
on the other hand
, many
commentator
Change to a plural noun
commentators
show examples
 justifiably
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
 that there are advantages to developing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
roads. there are some
people
 that have to use
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 the family with
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
child
Replace the word
childhood
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
, or when the weather is crazy.
as a result
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the government have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 attitude toward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
developing roads, there will have several problems in the city.
furthermore
 from
an industrial
Correct the article-noun agreement
an industrial viewpoint
industrial viewpoints
show examples
viewpoints
Add a comma
,viewpoints
show examples
 the number of cars in every country is increasing every day. in conclusion,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both sides of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 have several merits that need to reduce
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
.
in other words
 we cannot eliminate each opinion. so if we want to control
traffic
 especially
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the inner city or
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future, we must build
wide
Add an article
a wide
the wide
show examples
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 and rise
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of subway
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 and
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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