Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree

#salary #job #satisfaction

I strongly disagree that (with the statement of) some

people

believe that a high

salary

is much more important than

job

satisfaction

. Because

job

satisfaction

leads to good health and a successful

career

rather than a big

salary

. First and foremost,

people

who are satisfied with their jobs are the healthiest because of their well-being and excitement.

These kind

Change the determiner

This kind

These kinds

show examples

people

do not stress about their

job

and love everything they do in their daily life.

Additionally

, they do not expect too much

salary

, because it is happy for them to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their basic needs.

In contrast

big

Add a hyphen

big-salary

show examples

salary

jobs could be given

bunch

Add an article

a bunch

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and tasks.

This

much work leads to some psychological or other health problems.

On the other hand

job

satisfaction

provides

valuable

Add an article

a valuable

show examples

and long-lasting

career

path

Fix the agreement mistake

paths

show examples

for workers.

The most

Correct article usage

Most

show examples

people

could reach success by doing their dream

job

. It means that

people

are likely to spend their most time on

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

things and it leads to success after

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time. Spending a lot of effort usually creates a good result.

Additionally

career

Add an article

the career

a career

show examples

people

who love their jobs is significantly consistent and long-lasting because they are being fulfilled by

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

satisfaction

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. Oppositely, if

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

Change the verb form

does

show examples

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

for only

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

salary

, it usually does not

last

long. Because it is all about money and they have no purpose or dream about their

job

To sum up

, it is a statement that

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

salary

is much more important than

job

satisfaction

;

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

I strongly disagree

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

statement for two reasons. For me, taking

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

satisfaction

is much better than getting a high

salary

because it leads to good health and successful

career

points.

Submitted by ganorgil0927 on Fri Feb 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Goverments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or dissagree with this statement?

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