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Band 4.5

Some people feel that government should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and school. Other feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #proportion #salaries #services #roads #school #taxes
The phenomenon of a high tax rate
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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charged by the government in order to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public services has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as people's views on
this
 issue in question may be. I totally agree that using
money
 to exchange services and facilities is the best idea. Of all the reasons why
this
 is the best
apporach
Correct your spelling
approach
, probably the most significant one is that those services or public facilities require
a
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apply
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massive
money
 to maintain their operation and
existing
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existence
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. Most countries
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
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 on the tax claimed from their citizens. Without
this
 process, their government cannot even function.
Beside
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Besides
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,
those
Change the determiner
that money
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money
 always use to help the country in
contiune
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continue
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
 for the purpose of
keep
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keeping
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 the pace of
technology
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technological
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 development will not
slower
Add a missing verb
be slower
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 than
othe
Correct your spelling
other
nearly
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near
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 countries
such
 as transportation, public
sport
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sports
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 centre, medical facilities, etc.., which would
benfits
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benefit
 the most of the people. Another reason that should not be overlooked is that it would help people to
guaranty
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guarantee
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 elderly life.
For example
, many elders are living alone and do not have any family or
friend
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friends
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; As
the
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apply
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time going as they get older, their work
proformance
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performance
 will decline
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
 unit they completely lost the ability in earning
money
 to afford
the
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apply
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basic spending. To prevent that,
government
Add an article
the government
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 have some policies to help their citizens to save
money
 and ensure
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can acquire their needs when they are older. Under
this
 line of thinking, it seems to me that
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 tax rate would make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
spending
Replace the word
spent
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with
Change preposition
in
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 the most effective and proper way
to
Change preposition
for
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 us and
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
Therefore
, I completely agree with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 idea that larger salaries should be submitted to the country.
Submitted by frankyimp on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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