The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts below illustrate the percentage of online sales by retail sectors in New Zealand in 2000 and 2013.

Overall

Linking Words

, It can be seen that travelling was very popular in 2003, with the most sales online, considerably less money was spent on other activities

such

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as clothes shopping, purchasing films and music from online websites, and buying books.

However

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, in 2013

people

Use synonyms

's interests changed.

To begin

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with, the most cash was spent on travelling in 2003, 36% of

people

Use synonyms

chose to travel.

In contrast

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, the least money was spent on purchasing books.In 2013

people

Use synonyms

started spending money on other activities rather than travelling . Only 29% travelled . Shopping online was

also

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a popular activity in 2003, 20% brought clothes online.

In addition

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, in 2013

people

Use synonyms

started buying clothes from shops and only 16% shopped online. Only 20%of

people

Use synonyms

chose to buy films and music online in 2000,and 33% in 2013.

Submitted by Niamh Gal on Sun Feb 19 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

152 words

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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy are too difficult for children to learn at school. They think that these subjects should be made optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More students are travelling abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion