The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and B in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The four charts compare the distribution of employment in 3 different sectors in

Use synonyms

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

A and B in 1960 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

town

Use synonyms

A saw an increase in the proportion of people working in manufacturing, which overtook the other sectors to employ most of the workers in the

town

Use synonyms

. In

town

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, sales

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

the highest percentage of the workforce. Looking at

town

Use synonyms

A, we can see that in 1960, 41% of people had a sale-related job, which is much higher than the figure for manufacturing and services, at 30% and 29% respectively. Over the period shown, the proportion of people working in manufacturing witnessed a

drammatic

Correct your spelling

dramatic

rise and ranked top at 64%

while

Linking Words

the figure for sales

droped

Correct your spelling

dropped

a half to 20%, and the rest was for services at 16% only. Turning to

town

Use synonyms

B, sales, despite a drop from 70% in 1960 to 53% in 2010, maintained to attract the majority of workers. Manufacturing and services,

in contrast

Linking Words

, saw a rise in the percentage of employees of 15% and 2%,respectively.

bobong120906

Feb 20, 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

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The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and B in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects for a country’s development and progress. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.