The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and B in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentage #people #sectors #town #b #two #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The four charts compare the distribution of employment in 3 different sectors in

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

A and B in 1960 and 2010.

Overall

it is clear that

town

A saw an increase in the proportion of people working in manufacturing, which overtook the other sectors to employ most of the workers in the

town

. In

town

however

, sales

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

the highest percentage of the workforce. Looking at

town

A, we can see that in 1960, 41% of people had a sale-related job, which is much higher than the figure for manufacturing and services, at 30% and 29% respectively. Over the period shown, the proportion of people working in manufacturing witnessed a

drammatic

Correct your spelling

dramatic

rise and ranked top at 64%

while

the figure for sales

droped

Correct your spelling

dropped

a half to 20%, and the rest was for services at 16% only. Turning to

town

B, sales, despite a drop from 70% in 1960 to 53% in 2010, maintained to attract the majority of workers. Manufacturing and services,

in contrast

, saw a rise in the percentage of employees of 15% and 2%,respectively.

Submitted by bobong120906 on Mon Feb 20 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

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The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and B in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information; therefore, there is no need for printed books, magazines, and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers ( e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Many people nowadays spent a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?