The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and B in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The four charts compare the distribution of employment in 3 different sectors in

Use synonyms

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

A and B in 1960 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

town

Use synonyms

A saw an increase in the proportion of people working in manufacturing, which overtook the other sectors to employ most of the workers in the

town

Use synonyms

. In

town

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, sales

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

the highest percentage of the workforce. Looking at

town

Use synonyms

A, we can see that in 1960, 41% of people had a sale-related job, which is much higher than the figure for manufacturing and services, at 30% and 29% respectively. Over the period shown, the proportion of people working in manufacturing witnessed a

drammatic

Correct your spelling

dramatic

rise and ranked top at 64%

while

Linking Words

the figure for sales

droped

Correct your spelling

dropped

a half to 20%, and the rest was for services at 16% only. Turning to

town

Use synonyms

B, sales, despite a drop from 70% in 1960 to 53% in 2010, maintained to attract the majority of workers. Manufacturing and services,

in contrast

Linking Words

, saw a rise in the percentage of employees of 15% and 2%,respectively.

bobong120906Mon Feb 20 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

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The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in town A and B in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important as other subjects to a child’s development, and they should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantage? write 250 words.

Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society, so they should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

11.Some people believe that parents have great influence on children’s growth but others think that influence from the outside plays more important role. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays eating habits of people around the world are changing, causing them many health problems including obesity. Why do people tend to eat so badly? What can be done to improve their eating habits?