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Band 4

Some employers offer their employees subsidized memberships of gyms and sport clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work, other employers see no benefit in doing so. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

#employers #offer #employees #memberships #gyms #sport #clubs #staff #work #benefit
Some employers encourage their workers to go to the gym to stay fit and healthy. Meanwhile, other people think that it is unnecessary. I will consider both opinions and
finally
, I will elaborate on my idea. On the one hand, it is definitely important
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
 people stay healthy. Everyone understands that doing exercises makes you undoubtedly stronger and better.
Moreover
, you will think widely at certain moments. Our brain is closely connected with our physical condition.
Thus
, sometimes it is necessary to do sport as we sit in one place for several hours. Despite having all these advantages, there are some disadvantages that make it a waste of time. Nowadays, it is difficult to find free time to do something
besides
 work. Competition among businesses and the quality of product force workers to work hard on them. Stuff like that took a lot of time. It might provide flaws
on
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in
show examples
 productivity.
Thus
, some individuals think that it has no benefits at all.
To sum up
,
it is clear that
 gyms and sports clubs help us stay healthy and strong. You may start thinking
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other way.
However
, busy people can find it unnecessary
due to
 their busy schedules.
Submitted by bekabaizhuma on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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