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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.

The charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.
#show #percentage #volunteers #organizations
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The pie charts show the percentage of
volunteer
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people
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 in various kinds of
organizations
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 in 2008 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
volunteer
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people
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 in environmental,
sport
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sports
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, and
health care
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healthcare
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organizations
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 increased
whereas
Linking Words
 the proportion of
volunteer
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people
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 in other types of
organizations
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 decreased.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
overall
Linking Words
 percentages of all
organizations
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 varied over a given period of time. In 2008, participation of
volunteer
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people
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 in
environmental
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the environmental
an environmental
show examples
organization
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organizations
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, arts and education was 21%, 18% and 24% respectively. Most of the
volunteers
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 took part in educational
organization
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organizations
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 with 24%.
On
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At
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 the same time, sports and others had
same
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the same
show examples
 percentage of participation of
volunteers
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 which was 15%,
while
Linking Words
 only 7%
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volunteers
Change preposition
of volunteers
show examples
 took part in health care. In 2014, significantly more
volunteers
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 worked in environmental and
sport
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sports
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organizations
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 compared with the other fields, at 29% and 25% respectively. Meanwhile, the figures for art and other
volunteers
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 both fell by 6%. There was
also
Linking Words
 a slight fall in
volunteers
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 in educational
organizations
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, at 17%,
while
Linking Words
 volunteering in health care was still the least preferred option, at only 8%.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words volunteer, people, organizations, volunteers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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