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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided pie charts illustrate in terms of
electricity
 generation based on different sources (coal, oil, natural gas,
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
 and nuclear
power
) in
Australia
 and
France
 in 1980 and 2000.
Overall
,
Australia
 used coal as their major source to produce
electricity
 in both years.
However
,
France
 showed significant figures in 2000
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 nuclear
power
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
.
Besides
, the total production of electric
power
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased in both regions. In
Australia
, 50
units
 of
electricity
 were produced by burning coal in 1980 and it increased to 130
units
 in 2000.
However
, in
France
, it was only 25
units
 that
generated
Add a missing verb
were generated
show examples
 by coal
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year.
In addition
,
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
 contributed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20 and 36
units
 in
Australia
 in 1980 and 2000,
while
France
 generated 5 and 2
units
 in those years. Noticeably, the production of
electricity
 by natural gas was reduced from 20 to 2
units
 in
Australia
,
whereas
 in
France
, it declined from 25
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
units
.
Moreover
, oil usage was
also
 reduced in
Australia
 for
electricity
 but it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in
France
.
Finally
, it
is work
Change the verb form
is working
show examples
 to point
that
Change preposition
out that
show examples
Australia
 did not use nuclear
power
 to generate
electricity
 but
France
 generated 15
units
 in 1980 and 126
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
 in 2000.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, power, australia, france, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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