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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentage of New Zealand population from 1950 to 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the percentage of New Zealand population from 1950 to 2050. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #percentage #zealand #population #information #features #comparisons
The graph compares the proportion of four
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 of ages in New Zealand in the period between 1950 and 2050. During
this
 time, two
groups
 with the age
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35 to above have increased from 1950 to 2050,
while
 two other
groups
 have experienced a decrease.
Group
 35-74 is the
group
 with the most dramatic increase in the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 and has the highest data in 1950. In 1950, the percentage of the
population
 in
groups
 0-14, 15-34, 35-64 and 65 plus were estimated at around 10%, 15%, 28% and 32% respectively. Over the following 40 years, the 15-34
group
 rose strongly to about 45%,
while
 three other
groups
 only changed slightly. In 2023,
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-14
group
 and the 35-64
group
 have the same figure for
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and
group
 35-65
group
 begin overtaking
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-14
group
. In 2030,
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-14
group
 will continue to be overtaken by the
65 above
Add a hyphen
65-above
show examples
group
 at around 16%,
while
 the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of the 15-34
group
 will be still
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
. In 2045,
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
-64
group
 will start to overtake the 15-34
group
 at 30% and become the
group
 with the biggest proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in New Zealand. In the
last
 year in the graph, the data of the
population
 of 4
groups
 are predicted in order from 0 to 65 above years old at about 10%, 29%, 34% and 20% respectively.
Submitted by andyvinhtran1212 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words group, groups, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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