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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site.  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps here depict the current layout of an industrial
area
Use synonyms
 in the town of Norbiton
,
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apply
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 and the future development in
plan
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the plan
a plan
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 for
this
Linking Words
site
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. The current arrangement for the industrial
area
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 is
realtively
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relatively
 simple, with just a few
factories
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 located in the southern part of the
area
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, with a few roads connecting the
factories
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. In the northern
area
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, there is a river flowing in between the
factories
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 and an
area
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 of farmland. The Norbiton town
lays
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lies
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 in the western part of the
site
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. The planned
developmnent
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development
redevelopment
 of the
area
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 will turn most of the
factories
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 into housing for local residents
,
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apply
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 and will add many new
infrasturatures
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infrastructures
infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as shops,
Correct article usage
a school
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school
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schools
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,
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a playground
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playground
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playgrounds
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 and
medical
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a medical
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center
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centre
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 for the convenience of the residents. A new bridge will be built across the river to connect the main industrial
area
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 with the houses added
in
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on
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 the northern side of the
site
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, where there is entirely farmland.
Additionally
Linking Words
, more roads will
also
Linking Words
 be constructed to link the different zones in the industrial
site
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rachel_0713 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, site, factories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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