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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of the many advances, women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvangae

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Men
Use synonyms
 have always had an advantage over
women
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 in life and work, because from the beginning
women
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 were considered the weaker sex and relegated to
a
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private life, characterized by taking care of family and their own children, where working was a prerogative of
men
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.
Nevertheless
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, there have been many battles for equality of rights,
women
Use synonyms
 are still fighting for equal retribution and promotion in the workplace. In
this
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 essay, I will look for some possible solutions to
this
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 issue, expressing my opinions, based on my own experience and knowledge.
To begin
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 with, the differences between
women
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 and
men
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 were, and still are, based on the idea that
women
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 are too fragile
,
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 and too sensitive to succeed in certain professions,
such
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 as jobs where
strength
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 and power are required.
This
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 is the main reason why they are not selected compared to
men
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.
This
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 could be true,
for example
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 in the case of jobs based on physical
strength
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, where
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lifting
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lift
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lifting
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 heavyweight is required all the time,
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however
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,however
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this
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 situation often happens in other types of jobs where physical
strength
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 is not required, but rather an inner
strength
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. I think
this
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 is where a solution needs to be found. In fact, a woman can be weaker physically compared to a man, but it doesn’t mean that she is
also
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 weaker in her temperament. To find a solution and conclude, we need to understand that different doesn’t mean less, wrong and weaker, but rather can be an advantage. Taking the example of the police, a woman deserves to work there, in fact, just thank of her temperament, she can bring another perspective to some events,
such
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 as domestic violence, where her attitude and sensitivity can find other solutions and strategies to the problem.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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