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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of the many advances, women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvangae

#spite #advances #women #education #employment #disadvangae
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Men
 have always had an advantage over
women
 in life and work, because from the beginning
women
 were considered the weaker sex and relegated to
a
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private life, characterized by taking care of family and their own children, where working was a prerogative of
men
.
Nevertheless
, there have been many battles for equality of rights,
women
 are still fighting for equal retribution and promotion in the workplace. In
this
 essay, I will look for some possible solutions to
this
 issue, expressing my opinions, based on my own experience and knowledge.
To begin
 with, the differences between
women
 and
men
 were, and still are, based on the idea that
women
 are too fragile
,
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 and too sensitive to succeed in certain professions,
such
 as jobs where
strength
 and power are required.
This
 is the main reason why they are not selected compared to
men
.
This
 could be true,
for example
 in the case of jobs based on physical
strength
, where
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lifting
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lift
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lifting
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 heavyweight is required all the time,
however
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,however
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this
 situation often happens in other types of jobs where physical
strength
 is not required, but rather an inner
strength
. I think
this
 is where a solution needs to be found. In fact, a woman can be weaker physically compared to a man, but it doesn’t mean that she is
also
 weaker in her temperament. To find a solution and conclude, we need to understand that different doesn’t mean less, wrong and weaker, but rather can be an advantage. Taking the example of the police, a woman deserves to work there, in fact, just thank of her temperament, she can bring another perspective to some events,
such
 as domestic violence, where her attitude and sensitivity can find other solutions and strategies to the problem.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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