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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#percentage #people #five #portions #fruits #vegetables #uk #information #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the comparison of people who consume five portions of fresh produce daily in the UK within 7
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, women had the highest daily fresh produce
consumption
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 throughout the
years
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. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is presented in the chart, the
percentage
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 of daily fresh produce
consumption
Use synonyms
 reached its peak in 2006. At that time, women had the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
percentage
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 of fruits and vegetables, followed by men. The number of women who ate fresh produce daily increased gradually up until 2006, it went down quite significantly by 2007 from 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to slightly above 30
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and reached 30
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2008.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the trend explained before, the
percentage
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 of men and children who consume fruits and vegetables shared a similar trend, specifically in the first three
years
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. Both segments had
consistent
Correct article usage
a consistent
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 until
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 picked up in 2004. The only difference is when both segments reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 highest
consumption
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
. Men reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 highest in 2006
then
Linking Words
 decreased constantly in the next following
years
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. Meanwhile, the highest
percentage
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 of fresh produce
consumption
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 by children reached its highest in 2007, with a slightly higher than 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 but lower than men’s
percentage
Use synonyms
 that year.
This
Linking Words
 number fell slightly to a little below 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2008.
Submitted by marjorietirza98 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, consumption, percentage, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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