it is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Identifying between right and wrong is one of the most important
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education at the primary state of growth. I totally disagree that
punishment
is vital as a method for educating
children
to do great. There are two reasons for disagreement which are the effect
punishment
Change preposition
of punishment
show examples
on
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mental health and their
personality
. Mental health is one of the most important
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
of a
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
life quality. It is scientifically proven that using
punishment
as a learning method has detrimental effects on
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mental
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and it could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lead to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of some mental ailments
such
as lack of
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
, depression and
anxity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
which could have profound negative
consicuences
Correct your spelling
consequences
during
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education and finding
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
when they get older. The second reason for the notion that
punishment
should be
omited
Correct your spelling
omitted
from
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
learning process is the proven
devistating
Correct your spelling
devastating
effect of
punishment
on
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
personality
development.
Personality
disorders not only destroy
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
personal life but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
produce some issues for
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
such
as increasing crime
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
. It is proven by
psycologists
Correct your spelling
psychologists
that
punishment
has
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of sociopathy
that is
related to crime and culprit.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
it is claimed that strict rules and punishments may have
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
show examples
effect on
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
success,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
pitfalls of doing so outweigh the plus point. To recapitulate, the notion that
punishment
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
effective way to learn good
deed
Fix the agreement mistake
deeds
show examples
is resulted
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
its
longterm
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
negative effects on
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mental health and
personality
.
Submitted by moein.basiri on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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