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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity
This
 bar chart demonstrates
Change preposition
to us
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us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the rate of
men
 and
women
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 various
ages
 who did regular physical exercises in
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australia
show examples
 in 2010. As seen in the chart
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
 who are between 45 and 54
ages
 have the highest rate of doing sports with a
percentage
 of 53.3
whereas
 the highest exercising age of
men
are
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is
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 15-24 and
this
percentage
 is 52.8.
Moreover
,
men
’s
percentage
 39.5 have
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 physical activity from 35 to 44
ages
.
In addition
,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of
women
 is 47.1 that are 65 and
over
Correct your spelling
overages
show examples
ages
. Between 25 to 34
ages
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age
show examples
 participants who account for
female
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the female
a female
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 proportion of 48.9 are higher than
Add an article
a male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 whose proportion is 42.2. 39.5
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
men
 and 52.5
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
women
 exercise regularly
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the range of 35 to 44 years old .
Similarly
, we almost observe equal percentages between 45-54
ages
 and 55-64
ages
. Relatively,
while
 the 45-54
ages
 of
men
 group are 43.1 ,
women
 are 53.3
besides
 45-54
ages
 of
men
 group are 45.1 and
women
 are 53. Compare with
women
 and
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 participation over 65
ages
,
women
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women's
show examples
 participations are
percentage
 47.1 a little bit higher than
men
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men's
show examples
 participation
percentage
46.7
Change preposition
of 46.7
show examples
. these
ages
 of
men
 increase regular exercise %2
Add the comma(s)
, on the other hand,
show examples
on the other hand
 these
ages
 of
women
 decrease exercise %0.3.
Submitted by eesra.kuzuu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, ages, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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