The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
This
bar chart demonstrates
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to us
show examples
us
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apply
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the rate of
men
and
women
from
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of
show examples
various
ages
who did regular physical exercises in
Australian
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Australia
show examples
in 2010. As seen in the chart
the
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apply
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women
who are between 45 and 54
ages
have the highest rate of doing sports with a
percentage
of 53.3
whereas
the highest exercising age of
men
are
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is
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15-24 and
this
percentage
is 52.8.
Moreover
,
men
’s
percentage
39.5 have
lowest
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the lowest
show examples
physical activity from 35 to 44
ages
.
In addition
,
rate
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the rate
show examples
of
women
is 47.1 that are 65 and
over
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overages
show examples
ages
. Between 25 to 34
ages
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age
show examples
participants who account for
female
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the female
a female
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proportion of 48.9 are higher than
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a male
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male
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males
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whose proportion is 42.2. 39.5
percentage
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per cent
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of
men
and 52.5
percentage
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per cent
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of
women
exercise regularly
at
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in
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the range of 35 to 44 years old .
Similarly
, we almost observe equal percentages between 45-54
ages
and 55-64
ages
. Relatively,
while
the 45-54
ages
of
men
group are 43.1 ,
women
are 53.3
besides
45-54
ages
of
men
group are 45.1 and
women
are 53. Compare with
women
and
men
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men's
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participation over 65
ages
,
women
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women's
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participations are
percentage
47.1 a little bit higher than
men
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men's
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participation
percentage
46.7
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of 46.7
show examples
. these
ages
of
men
increase regular exercise %2
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, on the other hand,
show examples
on the other hand
these
ages
of
women
decrease exercise %0.3.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, ages, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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